


make it rain

by BitterlySpiteful



Series: Above [8]
Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:40:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21611041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitterlySpiteful/pseuds/BitterlySpiteful
Summary: she can do this. she went through all those years of schooling, all that training to be that top-secret spy, to live the glorified life she'd always wanted to live. kerberos can do this.probably.Three-shot for the Above series.
Series: Above [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1145441





	1. bird song

**Author's Note:**

> Well, well, what do I FUCKING have here? a one shot?? for kerberos??? well holy hell you know im procrastinating now. she's dead. she's, like, actually not even a living character in the series. but here i am. and here you are, reading this.  
> so do me a favor, yell at me in the comments to stop procrastinating, but also yell at me about this and what you're about to read.  
> thanks~

[well, i didn't tell anyone, but a bird flew by](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jno8dow48NY)

saw what i'd done

he set up a nest outside

and he sang about what i'd become

* * *

* * *

"Please, please," she whispers, hoarsely, "Seto, please stop crying. I know, baby, I know. It hurts. I know."

She rocks the baby gently- Somewhat. It's _difficult_ to not want to throw him into a wall. He's only an infant, she _gets_ it, but she didn't have to deal with Jordan as an infant. She had to deal with him as a toddler, and now he's seven, and he doesn't cry like this. He never really cried like this. Jordan was a _quiet_ child, even though she took him into her care at the age of three. _(Took him into her care? As **if** , dammit, Brian, why did you have to dump all this on-)_

But Kerberos is tired, now. So, so tired, and she's not even a century old. In school and training, she was _assured_ that the younger she is, the easier it is to get away with what she's doing. To slip under the radar, and actually _do her damn fucking job_. 

But now she has a baby. And about five missed calls from her contact, another ten from her parents, and too many text messages to even _start_ to sort through. Not only that, but she hasn't made the last two reports. They probably think she's dead or AWOL and neither of those are really good for her career.

The career which didn't have _room_ for children. She'd been hesitant when Brian had shoved Jordan on her. Sure, they were close, but not enough for her to care for _his_ mistake child. But now Jordan's _hers_ , and she'll be damned if she doesn't love him. But love doesn't cover everything, which is what she's finding out. She loves thel ittle thing in her arms, wants to see him grow and help him talk and teach him to fly-

But she's _sworn_ her life to this job. She has another century-long contract to complete before she can even think about settling down and starting a family. This is _illegal_ , in almost every sense of the word, and- Fuck. "Seto, fucking- Stop. Please. Stop."

"Mom?"

Kerberos turns on her heel, staring over at Jordan, who's standing in her doorway and looking none too pleased. He hasn't looked pleased these days. Not since she brought the _new baby_ home from the hospital. "What, sweetie?" she asks, almost pained in the way she does so.

"I can't sleep." Jordan doesn't have to point out _why_ he can't sleep. He has school in the morning- _fuck_ ,he has school in the morning.

"I know, honey," she says, trying so, so hard not to say _Me fucking too, kid, sorry 'bout that._

She takes a deep breath. Lets it out. "Your little brother really likes to cause a ruckus, huh?"

"He's annoying."

KIds. So lovely. So blunt.

"I don't want you to say things like that, young man," she says, knowing she has to be a _proper_ _mom_ , less she get sent to a _lower_ circle in hell than the one she's already planning on seeing. "Seto is part of this family now, okay? He's your little brother. One day you'll grow up and- and-" What do kids like to do? What do _human_ kids like to do? "And you'll play catch. And, uh, football." Though, those things are probably the same thing.

Seto is still crying. Kerberos checks his diaper, but that's not it. She _knows_ what it is- It's the fucking _sigil_ she burned into his fucking _back_. She takes another shaky breath, and then the next one is more steady. "Do you want the earmuffs?"

"Yeah."

So, putting Seto in one arm - And then double-checking to make sure she's supporting his head right - she starts rummaging through the closet, making sure to close the door so Jordan doesn't see the wings she won't let herself ever use. While she looks through their winter boxes, she keeps babbling nonsense at the infant. The infant, not her baby, not her son, _the damned infant that she didn't want to-_

Deep breath, Ker, deep breath. Let it out. There you go. 

"Here you are!" she tells Jordan, kicking the closet door closed behind her and giving him the earmuffs that Jordan never wore in winter, but she never was able to throw them away. "Go get some sleep, honey, okay?"

"I'll try." The sarcasm doesn't escape her but she just smiles painfully at him until he leaves.

And then she's left with this caterwauling, bitch of a fucking little _worm_ \- No. Deep breath.

"I can do this," she says and doesn't believe it. She looks down at Seto. "I can do this."

[...]

She really, _really_ , can't do this. 

Jordan is crying, now, because he'd reached up and tried to grab the pan to help her make dinner. Bless him, he's too good for her, but now he's burned and she thinks this would probably make a pretty valuable life lesson - _don't grab hot things, dumbass_ \- but she can't think past the whole 'One of my children has a sigil plastered on his back and it's not healing right, and also now my _other_ child is also burned but in a different way, a way that all children get burned, and also dinner is all over the kitchen floor and I'm pretty sure there's a fire starting in the microwave'.

Her day isn't going well.

She finally breaks when Jordan kicks her in the shin because the burn salve she spreads on his hand stings. _Bitch_. That stings? So does the fucking _burn_!

She caves. And calls Brian, sobbing into the phone, "I can't do this, Bry, I can't do this."

He can _hear_ the annoyance in his sigh. But she's gotten maybe two hours of sleep out of the past seventy-two, and she can't take it anymore.

"Christ," Brian says, tone full of regret, and he hangs up on her. 

Her crying and cursing and throwing shit around scares Jordan into silence. She flings shit against walls, curses that damn angel's name, and hopes he _burns_ in hell.

When she's done, she collapses on the kitchen floor, still with the crying baby in her arms. Jordan slowly crawls out from under the table, and pads over.

He stands like there for a moment, him looking down on her, and her looking up at him through tears and dirty strings of hair. Then he holds his arms out and asks, "Can I hold him?"

Oh, sweet boy. Kerberos is too good for him.

Sniffling, she nods, gesturing him to sit next to him. ANd gently, so gently, she places Seto in his arms. It's the first time he's willingly held the baby. He stares down at him, then blinks up at her and says, "He's heavier than I thought."

"Yeah," she laughs, wiping tears, "Yeah, he really is, huh?"

Jordan looks back down at Seto, and frowns. "Mom, why does he keep crying?"

She bites her tongue. The same sigil is on Jordan's back, and he knows it's there because _Brian_ put it there when he was young enough to remember the pain, but not old enough to remember why. Too young to remember who did it. Too young.

So she fabricates a lie. "Honey... My family, uh- Magic has always run in our family. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Jordan looks at her, wide-eyed, because he _does_. He's old enough, now, she thinks, to tell him something that he can latch onto and believe for the rest of his life.

"And I... had to make sure that it wouldn't spread to you. Jordan, you know those marks on your back?" He nods. She takes a shaking breath, One, two, skip and say, "Do you know what angels do to humans that have magic?"

At this, he nods, slowly, eyes so terrified and, oh, what world is she bringing him up in? "I don't want that happening to us. It's going to be our little secret. Okay?"

Jordan nods one more time, face scrunching in what she thinks might be the beginning of tears. He shifts, holding Seto a little bit more off his back, and moves his burned hand gingerly to tuck the baby's hat further on his head. This old house can't ever keep the heat inside it - Kerberos makes a mental note to get the walls remodeled so they'll keep the heat. And then Jordan asks, "So, Seto has magic too?"

"..." She knows where she's from, and she knows what Brian is. _Fuck_ , yeah the kid has magic. "Yes," she says, finally, "He does."

"Do I?"

"Not anymore."

At this, Jordan looks relieved. It's then- It's only _then_ does she realize Seto is quiet. She looks down at him, startled, and then laughs. Jordan smiles at her, even though he probably doesn't know what she's laughing at.

Slowly, so slowly, because Seto is asleep and he doesn't look as pained right now, Kerberos takes him from Jordan's arms. "I'm going to go put him to bed," she says, "Would you start helping me pick up? I'll be right back."

Leaving Jordan with a kiss on the top of his head, she takes Seto upstairs, gently placing him in the crib. Any sort of jostling might wake him up - Or maybe not. He has been crying a lot, and hasn't gotten all that much sleep. Maybe he tired himself out. 

And then she rejoins her older son down in the kitchen, and cleans up the rest of the mess while he goes to finish his homework. And then she makes dinner, and they eat, and Seto is quiet, asleep, the entire time.

[...]

"Seto took his first steps on his own today."

Her mother is quiet on the other side of the line.

"He isn't speaking yet." Kerberos rubs her brow, hunched at her desk. She stares blankly down at the reports. They're moving troops this way, and that, and this war is hell. "I've been, uh, promoted. At work."

Her mother takes a breath, as if to say something, but then continues to be silent.

"And Jordan got an A-plus on his history test." 

More silence. Kerberos sighs and finally slumps into her arms, using her shoulder to hold the phone to her ear. "Just put Dad on the phone, Mom."

"Honey-"

"Just. Put Dad on the phone."

There's shuffling, and then a, "Hey, Ker! How's my little girl?"

"Hey, Dad." It's always so nice to hear his voice. He's been the only- the _only_ one that's supportive. "I'm, uh, I'm doing okay."

A vast understatement. He can hear it in her voice. "Parenting not the thing you thought it was?"

She chuckles, slightly, something almost humorless but not quite. "Yeah, uh... I don't know how you did it. Two is more than enough for me. Seto's starting to eat whatever he can grab and shove into his mouth, so uh... Yeah."

He laughs, then, not really holding anything back. She has to smile at that. "You did the same thing, you know. I swear, you were shitting pennies every week."

"Thanks, Dad," she says sarcastically, rubbing her eyes with her thumb and pointer. She sits up from the desk, leaning back into the chair. "So, how's everybody doing over there?"

"Well, you have a little nephew now."

"Really!" Kerberos sits upright all of a sudden. "Who's is it?"

"Ah, Cheyenne and Kativic finally forgot to use protection." Kerberos laughs at the muffled, horrified screams coming from who she assumes is Cheyenne in the background. And, underlying her sister's shrieks, is a baby laughing. "What's its name?"

"A little boy. They haven't decided on a name yet, actually. But uh- You should bring yours up, honey, the family would love to see them."

Kerberos hesitates. Her silence stretches too long, because then her dad says, "Ah, I know, I know. You've got work. And besides, I bet it's hard to uproot the little tykes like that... But hey, uh, tell them I said hi, y'know?"

"Yeah," she says, knowing that the conversation is drawing to an end. "I will. And tell Chey I said congrats. Tell her it's hell."

"Well, she's got Kativic, so, you know, they'll take shifts. But uh- You keep goin', kiddo. I'll call you when I can, okay?"

"Yeah," she says, knowing it might be another month. But they can't talk all that much. Not with this long of a distance, and not with her being so close to one of the west's generals. This short conversation alone is risky in and of itself. "I love you, Dad. Tell Mom I said the same. And- And everyone else."

"I will, Ker. I'll call you soon."

"Bye," she says, and tries to hold back tears.

When the line goes dead, she spins her chair around, tapping the floorboards with her foot and popping open the hidden compartment. Dropping the phone in, and then shoving all her paperwork in there as well, she stands and stretches. 

Breathe in. Breathe out.

"Who was that?" Jordan asks, peaking into her room from the crack in the door. Kerberos swallows thickly, then just shakes her head. "It was only work, honey. Go down and wash your hands, I'll be ordering take out tonight."

[...]

"No go!" Seto screeches, bouncing on his feet and yanking at Kerberos' hand. "Don't wanna!"

"But baby," Kerberos says, smiling apologetically at the teacher waiting at the door, "You just said this morning you wanted to go to school, remember? You wanted to learn stuff like your brother?"

Jordan is already gone, running down the hall to join his friends in his own classroom. He'd left with only a brief hug - God, that pulls at her each time. And now, here Seto is, making her want to cry even more. They are growing up. Too fast, it seems.

"No!" Seto shrieks, throwing his head back and stomping again. "No!"

"I love you," she says, knowing to just rip the bandaid off. "And your lunch is in your backpack. I'll see you when school lets out, and then we'll have ice cream, alright?"

She leaves him still crying. She mechanically gets in her car, turns it on, then pulls the mirror down to comb her hair out. She undoes two buttons in her shirt. And then she heads to work.

[...]

Jordan tentatively asks how she makes the healing salve, as she's smearing it over a small cut he got at school from arts and crafts.

"Well," she says, "I, uh... It doesn't really require magic."

"Oh?" Always so curious. She's kneeling in front of him, but now she looks up. And she smiles. "Maybe I'll teach you someday."

[...]

The two of them talk her ears off on the way home. She tries to be interested, tries to listen to them rambling about school, and about what's actually true and what's not.

But her mind is elsewhere. She hasn't heard from her contact in three months, that's six missed updates. _Six_. The news only holds horror stories about the angelic wars, and the land recently dredged from their island doesn't bode well. Kerberos looks in the mirror to find them fighting. She's tired. So tired. Work is getting worse, there's no end to the bullshit she has to put up with and the bullshit she has to write down. The kids are in their fighting stage, obviously, and now... She just wants to sleep. For a long, long time.

Blinking slowly, she says, "Boys, don't fight."

"He took my dog!" Seto shrieks, kicking the back of Kerberos' seat. She turns around, frustrated, to find Jordan cackling madly and holding the dog with one hand, and rolling the window down inch by inch with the other. "Dog's gonna fly," he says, grinning madly. "Don't you know, Seto? Dogs can fly."

"No!" Seto wails, beating at Jordan's shoulder and kicking. 

"Jordan," Kerberos barks, turning to glance at where she's driving, and correcting the car when it goes over the line. "Give him the dog back."

Jordan just laughs, taunting Seto by sticking the stuffed toy out the window. Seto's cries reach a higher pitch and intensity and Kerberos thinks the glass might shatter.

"Jordan!" she shouts, finally reaching back to try and grab the toy from him. "Give him the damn-"

And then there's the sound of tires screeching and she turns around just in time to see a car heading toward them. Screaming, Kerberos jerks the wheel, swerving just in time to miss the other car. They collide into the metal support rail along the edge of the road, bounce off and spin as the airbags deploy. The world flips around, and around, as they go tumbling off the opposite side of the road. Her children screams are still in her ears when they roll to a stop at the bottom of a hill.

DIzzy, and half-deaf from the airbags, Kerberos sits up off the wheel, reaching up to wipe blood from her nose. Her face hurts horribly, and she can't get her vision to stop blurring. "Are you guys okay?" she croaks, turning around as much as she can- Fuck, _fuck_ that hurts. Stopping mid-turn, she hisses out a long noise of pain, looking at the two. Both are crying, Jordan less so, but they both look uninjured.

"Hey, it's okay," she says, trying to reach back to Seto. "Shh, it's okay. It's alright."

SOmeone opens her door suddenly and she squints over. The man is saying something- She unbuckles her seatbelt and stumbles out of the car, going to Seto's door and prying it open. It takes a few tugs - the metal is warped and bent - but then she manages, tapping into her magic to nearly rip it off the hinges. The man stumbles away from her as it flies open, staring at her with wide eyes. "Hey, honey," she says, wiping blood from her face before she starts checking over him. "are you hurt? It's okay, it's okay."

Seto is beyond the point of words, but Jordan nods and starts to unbuckle. He shakily tries to get out of the car, but his door is stuck. She motions for him to wait as she unbuckles Seto and pulls him from the carseat.

"I called 911," the man says when she turns back to him. "Are any of you injured?"

"Just my head," she says, still half-dizzy. Setting her youngest down, she grips his hand and herds him around to the other side. Then, making sure he's out of the way and staying put, she pries Jordan's door open. "Are you okay, Jordan? Are you hurting anywhere?"

"Just my chest," he says, rubbing where the seatbelt was. "What- What's gonna happen?"

"Oh, nothing, honey. A firetruck and an ambulance will come- Maybe some cop cars. We'll get your chest checked out, okay?"

"You're... You're bleeding?" Jordan says, and it's almost a question, but she brushes it off. "Mom, you're- Why are you bleeding blue?"

And Kerberos freezes.

The wailing of a siren is in the distance.

[...]

Kerberos slams the door closed after they step into the house. Seto is in her arms, asleep. Jordan gives her a wary glance and then shuffles around her as she heads to the bedrooms. Putting Seto down in his bed, she turns to find Jordan standing there.

"Why... Why blue?"

Kerberos swallows. "Well," she says quietly, tucking Seto in and then kissing his forehead. She stands, going to Jordan. Putting a hand on his shoulder and flicking the light off as they leave the room, she says, "You remember what I was saying about magic?"

Humans with magic bleed red, no matter what. Only angels bleed blue. But Jordan will never meet another human with magic. And she'll use that to her advantage. And if she ever gets discovered, he can hate her then. But now is now, and then is then. Hopefully _then_ will never happen. "It's because of the magic," she answers, sitting him down on the living room couch as she goes to make hot chocolate. She'd been able to avoid bleeding in front of the paramedics and police and had threatened the kind stranger that tried to help him to silence. 

"So... people with magic bleed like that?"

"Angels do too," she says, giving the lie a little bit of truth, making it ever so slightly more believable. "It's not common in humans."

"... But I don't," Jordan says, looking at her confused, then down at his hands. "I have magic, right?"

"No, honey," she says. "You don't."

"Oh." He takes the hot cocoa from her wordlessly, and they sit and drink from their cups for a long moment. Finally, she puts hers on the table. "The sigil does more than just get rid of your magic. It... changes you, I guess. It's too late for me to get the, uh, sigil, and I didn't want you to have to live your life in fear of being found out. It's... better this way."

"So I won't ever have it?" He looks disappointed.

So Kerberos explains. She twirls a few lies around and it kills her, but he seems to believe her. She doesn't tell him he's half western angel. She doesn't tell him that interrupting the sigil will take back the effects it has. She doesn't tell him what she is, or what Seto is, or anything like that. She tells him _nothing_.

And she hates herself for that.


	2. the garden

[my darling, the devil knows my name](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IxgQklj3_Y)

lay me down, pour the dirt into our bed

tell the crows, they can have their pound of flesh

* * *

* * *

"Stay here," she hisses, pulling the drapes down over the small fort beneath old tables and desks and chairs. "And _do not_ come out, _do not_ make any noise. Do you understand?"

Jordan stares at her with wide eyes, glancing over at Seto, who's obliviously playing with the little gameboy she got them for the winter solstice. "Why?" he asks, looking back at her. He's so grown up, now. "Are you in trouble?"

"No, but I will be if you're found out." She doesn't want to scare them, she really, _really_ , doesn't, but she has to. If they're found, there goes _everything_. She isn't sure she'd be able to keep them. She isn't sure if she'd be executed for treason, or sent off to live on a drifting island, or sent off to prison. She knows she probably won't ever be able to see either of them ever again. "Seto, honey? Look at me."

Seto looks over at her, the noises from the game pausing. He looks somewhat impatient- He's only thirteen, and all he really wants to do is either play games or read or have Adam come over so they could chase each other around with sticks. "Seto, you have to be _very quiet_ , okay? Mute the game, alright?"

"But mom-"

"No buts. Mute the game, Seto, and don't even whisper. You and Jordan won't be here long, okay?" Seto huffs, but nods and turns back to the device. The noises start back up, but then cut off pretty quickly, with the only sounds coming from it being the buttons pressed. "Good," she says and gets up from her knees. "Stay. You have snacks and juice. Do either of you have to go to the bathroom?"

Jordan groans, grumbling something about him being old enough to take care of himself, and Seto gives a quick 'no' so she tells each of them to be good, and then hurries back upstairs. She picks over the house in the remaining few minutes they have, making sure no toys or movies or books or anything else left laying out. She locks the boys' bedroom after pulling the curtains down, and then goes to the kitchen, and quietly puts on a pot of tea.

A knock sounds at the door the moment she lights the stove. Taking a deep breath, and letting it out, she brushes lint off her shirt and heads for the door.

Anton Müller. What a wonderful man. She hates him.

Smiling, she pulls the door back, trying her best to keep her face away from the whole expression of 'No, sir, I'm not hiding any children in my basement'. "Mr. Müller, how are you doing?"

Anton mutters something about the long trip and brushes past her, glancing around the kitchen. "This was the place you were set up with, correct?"

"Oh, yes," she says, business tone on, "I like it a lot. Pretty remote, which is just perfect."

Which hasn't turned out so well in the past handful of years, because school buses don't go _up_ this far, so she always has to drop the kids off and then pick them up, all within her work schedule. 

"Good, good. Looks like it needs new tiles." He kicks at a tile that's lifted partway up, from when Jordan decided he'd try and renovate the floor. 

"Oh, I've been meaning to fix that up, just never had the time for it." Which isn't, actually, a lie. She heads to the table, hoping beyond hope that he won't go past the fucking kitchen. "You know, I-"

"We're thinking of terminating you." Oh, how she just _missed_ being around other angels. She manages to keep her smile on, though now it's got a dangerous edge to it. "Excuse me?"

"You've missed too many drop-offs, you see. You learned this in university, yes?" Anton sits down in the kitchen chair, frowning at the creaking of the wood. He's a good two heads taller than her. And with using the growth-reduction potions she needs, she never had to get new furniture. She never grows anymore. 

"Well," she says, slowly, "Uh, some things came up. Sometimes I wasn't able to safely drop off the information, and-"

"You, ma'am, are in a very valuable position." His wings clatter as he shifts in the chair. She turns as the kettle whistles, and quickly begins to make tea. And, being spiteful, she doesn't add any sugar to his. "Many are trying to go for it, and it is only your close relations with the royal family that got you here. The King is none too pleased about the level of detail in your reports."

Ah, damn him. _Damn_ all of them. She takes a slow breath. Okay, Kerberos, breathe. She brings the cups over and gives him the one without sugar. "Well," she says, but he immediately tramples over her words.

"Not only that, but you missed _four_ in a row, a few years back. Though you seem to have gotten better at turning them in. Still, they are sloppy, and tell us nothing we don't already know. You are too close to the Generals to not know anything, yet you-"

"And I am merely human, yes?" she bites, and Anton pauses to finally look at her, almost surprised. "That is a _stupid_ idea."

Seeing the anger on his face, she stands, knowing she's already dug her grave, so she might as well lie down. "They don't even look at humans here, Mr. Anton, how do you expect me to get close enough to learn _anything_? Other than how the weather is doing up there? Hm? Oh, how about how the head General's taken up a lover with another one? Oh, and also,all the damn fucking _gossip._ Who likes who, who might marry the other's daughter, oh, or how some drifters are causing a stir? Did you hear, Anton, two of them refused the head General? But that doesn't matter, does it?"

Red in the face, Anton stands up, fists clenched and wings rattling. She snarls up at him, "Sure, I have a 'valuable position', but I can't do a damn thing with it! My reports are as detailed as I can _get_ them, and it is none my fault if things happen before they even arrive at your doorstep."

Anton opens his mouth, clicks it shut, and then straightens. He tugs his tie into place and says, so lowly, "You will be hearing back from us. Very soon."

With that, he exits the house, with her glaring after him, wishing she could just kill the man.

[...]

"You look stressed."

Kerberos starts, pen pausing on the paper, then continues. "Do I?"

Brian sighs, rubbing his brow. "Yes."

"Wonderful." She continues writing. He'd asked- told- her to write a letter to his brother. She doesn't like what's in it, but she's mentally memorizing it so that she can rewrite it later and send it to fucking _Anton_. "How pissed do you want to sound in this?" she asks, knowing she's probably breaking several laws and boundaries between humans and angels.

"Uh." Brian sits back, startled. "It's not supposed to sound pissed."

"But you are."

"Of course I am! He's the dumbass that accepted Masikae's challenge, and now I have to worry about the Generals dueling amongst each other, and-"

"So. Really pissed off, got it." She flourishes his signature- A thing she's picked up, and folds it, then stuffs it inside an envelope and starts heating up the wax. Then she moves on to the next letter, glancing at the jotted-down details that he wants in it. "Oh, and one to Miss Masikae, too?"

"She's also to blame," he defends, leaning his head heavily on his palm. A few minutes pass and he sighs, scratching the side of his head. "Hey, do you, uh..."

"No."

"Oh, come on. I could come over, and it could be a nice night-"

"Jordan has a math competition tonight," she lies, knowing Jordan has no such thing until another week. "And unless you want to sit among the crowd with me and cheer him on, then no."

"You know I can't do that. The kid doesn't even know me."

"And that is your fault."

Brian groans and leans back in his chair, foot tapping on the floor. Then, suddenly, he gets up. She pauses in writing, watching him as he paces to the door. Then, cursing herself, she quietly continues to write as he locks the door. "Kerberos," he starts, using her name, and she struggles not to snap the pen. "Just one more time, hm?"

"The last time, you ended up with another child. Maybe you should learn to buckle your belt a bit tighter, hm?"

She will not _take_ this right now. Seto is sick at home and she should _be_ there with him, but can't miss out on work, or she'll be fired from Brian's assistant's position, and _also_ the one from the east. 

"Look," he says, eyes glowing just a bit brighter. She forces herself to keep writing. "I'm trying to be nice, here, alright? Weren't you the one who wanted me to be _nice_?"

"Not anymore," she says, emotionlessly, even though she knows she's lying, and even though he probably does to. "I don't want anything else to do with you, Brian, our relationship is solely professional at this point-"

"And _fuck_ that," he shouts, stomping toward her, and she only stops writing when he grabs her wrist and yanks her out of her chair. It goes clattering to the floor and she stares up at him, snarling, trying so desperately to make sure her magic doesn't show through the contacts she's wearing. 

"Let go of me," she hisses, low, and tries to yank her arm from his hand. "Let go of me, Brian."

"No," he growls. "No."

[...]

"Mom, are you okay?"

"Yes, Jordan, I am." 

Jordan falls quiet but still glances over at her. After a few moments, he sighs and pulls out his phone. After playing some game for a few minutes, he puts the phone down and looks at her. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Jordan," she snaps, glaring over at him. And then she softens, closing her eyes, and sighing. "Yes, I'm okay."

"... Alright." He leans his head against the seatbelt, resuming his game. When they're almost home, he asks, "What's for dinner?"

[...]

It happens twice more within the week after the first time. And then, a few more days later, another time. At this point, even Seto can tell something is up with her, but she denies it just as much as she did with Jordan, if not more. He's thirteen- The kid doesn't need to know. Neither of them needs to know. She doesn't think she can tell anyone. And she probably never will.

[...]

She stares down at the little stick. Stares down at the two little lines. Then she reaches for the second box, and takes the next test out, and tries again.

[...]

And she tells Brian. He stares at her, then flushes red. "Whose is it?"

"Who-" She has to take a breath so she doesn't rip his head off with her bare hands. "Who the _fuck_ do you think, Brian? Who the fuck do you think! You fucking _bastard_!"

He snarls at her, and she thinks he looks like a dog, like a rabid fucking dog, and she chucks the folders and papers at him and says, "Write your own damn letters. I _quit_."

"Wait- Wait!" he calls after her as she storms out. The few humans in the office hurry to get out of her way, and the angels all look at her strangely, then turn to each other to talk.

[...]

The wings glitter in the light from her cellphone. She looks over them, then turns to gather some of the clothes hanging on the racks in the closet. Soon, she tells herself. Very soon and she'll be in the air again.

She hurries to the bed, folding them before stuffing them into the suitcase. "Jordan, Seto," she calls, "Are you done packing yet?"

Two groans answer her and she sighs, shaking her head. Slamming her laptop and papers into the suitcase, she closes it and heads downstairs. Knocks at their bedroom and pushes the door open to find neither of them doing their work. "I told you, pack."

"Where are we even going?" Jordan asks, looking away from his computer to glare at her. "I'm going out tomorrow, so, like-"

"I said," she hisses, scaring both of them into looking at her. "Pack. Now. We're leaving tomorrow."

"But where to?" Seto calls, but she waves a hand and leaves the room.

And then glider is still down in the basement, behind the shelf she shoved in front of it. She looks over it, then slowly starts to wipe the dust off of it. It should be big enough to carry Seto and Jordan. Not her. But they could always land on a ship, if it's eastern. She could always call for help, call her parents or her sister or her old friends. She takes a deep breath and starts to pull it out from the corner-

And then something _shakes_ the ground, rocks the whole house. She curses and shoves the bookshelf back into place, glancing helplessly at the handprints left in the dust before rushing upstairs.

"Mom? What was that?" Jordan and Seto are coming out of their room, but she ushers them back in. She knows what that is. She can't ever forget the sound of an angel falling from the sky, not since the deathbell incident when she was thirty. "Stay here," she hisses, quietly, shoving them back into the room and closing the door.

Their backyard is a mess. Where her garden once was is a gorge, dirt flung up and out. The tree where there was a tire swing is cracked and leaning heavily to one side.

Whoever- Whatever it was, the angel is gone, blue blotting the grass. She follows the trail into the woods, then hurries to turn back. When she reaches the house, she calls out for the kids. 

Silence.

Fear spearing through her, Kerberos runs to their room, heart sinking at the open door. "Jordan? Seto! Where-"

Spinning, she rushes back to the living room, then the kitchen and then the basement and then as a last resort, to her own room. No sign of them. She swears loudly and runs back outside.

And there, at the edge of the yard, are three figures. Two are standing aside, talking with each other and looking down at the large lump on the ground. Kerberos runs over, hopping the barbed wire fence with the help of magic, and yanking them toward her. Seto yelps and Jordan struggles away. "Hey, what the-"

"What the hell are you doing?" she screeches, grabbing his wrist and yanking him back. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"It was Jordan's idea!" Seto shouts, scared shitless, cowering into her side. "I'm sorry!"

"Jordan!" she hisses, glaring at him. "Get inside, now young man!"

"But mom, he's hurt-"

"I don't care! Get inside." Bless him, though, because he's caring enough to worry over an eleven-foot-tall killing machine. And, in that moment, she wishes Brian had never brought Jordan to her. Because this wouldn't have happened- It probably would have, but Seto wouldn't have ever gone out to do this. Gone out to ruin their lives.

Jordan glances at her, then at the angel, then mutters something under his breath and goes stomping back toward the house. She shoves Seto in the same direction and tells him to follow his brother. 

Then she turns, and glares down at the angel.

For a long moment, she thinks about the suitcase and the wings and the glider, and Seto and Jordan. And then she thinks about how this angel, who she knows, who she knows she can't just let die out here. And then she thinks about the half-written letters to the east sitting in her room.

And she says, "They'll come looking for you."

The angel groans, something guttural and gurgling. He rolls slightly, blinding gold eyes peering up through the pain. He sneers at her and she kicks him, _hard_ in the ribs. He groans and shifts to curl around what might be broken ribs. Snarling, she kicks him again, screaming wordlessly. 

"Fuck!" Kerberos takes a few steps away, gripping at her hair. "Fuck! Fuck this! Fuck you!"

Nathaniel coughs a laugh and wheezes.

"Masikae really did a fucking number on you, huh? Why the _fuck_ are you so stupid! Fuck! Fuck you." She kicks him again, and again, and then screams and releases her magic and _slams_ him into a tree a dozen feet away.

He coughs, coughs, and then falls silent. Kerberos pauses in her cursing, chest heaving for air, and stalks over to him. If he's dead, then it will be blamed on her. It doesn't matter that Masikae was the one to make him fall- He landed near her house, and then walked away from the initial crash scene, and now there's obvious evidence of her tampering with the whole thing.

Debating for a solid few minutes, staring at the weak heaving of his chest, and the blue staining his clothes and body, Kerberos weighs the two options she has. If she takes her children and leaves now, she might be far enough away from the west before they find him. But... then they'd go searching for her. She's situated almost in the smack dab middle of the west - there'd be no way she could reach the Atlantic before they caught her. And then- And then her kids would be- 

... She can't think like that. So she makes her decision and knows she's damning herself.

"Fuck you." She spits on him, then reaches down and grabs him by the arm and starts dragging him to the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....whoops. anyway, there will actually be a third chapter lmao.

**Author's Note:**

> look man i love kerberos. she deserved better. anyway, thanks for reading. review. please. it prompts me into actually writing for this damned series.


End file.
